Posts Tagged ‘funny’

It was a cool but beautiful day when Nibbles arrived in our fair town of Melissa, Texas.  We were a bit late getting to the post office, and when we got there, we found Nibbles patiently waiting on us.















The first thing he did upon arrival was meet our new real buddy Koko.  She’s a long-haired Chihuahua that was given to us (more about Koko later).  Koko loved Nibbles and Nibbles loved Koko.
















We asked Nibbles if there was anything special she wanted to do while visiting us, and right away she let us know with a great deal of exuberance, that she wanted to go sight seeing.  We warned her there wasn’t much to see in Melissa, but Nibbles insisted.  So, we took her to see the Fire Station, and the local park.  That about summed up the town sights; but Nibbles fell in love with the park, so that was lucky for us.  Here she is sliding down the BIG slide:














And she absolutely loved climbing atop Big Foot the green dragon.















Then, she spotted the Basketball courts and threw a hissy fit because I wouldn’t play her a game of HORSE.  So… the husband initiated a game of one on one and that appeased Nibbles.













Then, Nibbles spotted the cars and promptly hopped into one and away she went!  We screamed and hollered for her to come back, “Come back Nibbles!  Nibbles, come back!”  on account she didn’t have a license and all, but she wouldn’t listen.  She just stepped on the accelerator and faster she went!













We got tired of waiting for her to come back, so we gave up and decided to go on home and hoped Nibbles would be able to find her way back.  A short while later, Tom (one of our three police officers) showed up on our driveway with errant Nibbles in tow:













He gave her a citation for driving without a license and gave us a severe scolding for allowing her to drive without a license.  What ever!

And that was the end of Nibbles’ Adventure in Melissa Land.  The End.


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Buddy Update

It’s been days since dear little Philip left us, and we sorely miss him.

The guest bedroom has been spiffied up, refreshed and is ready and awaiting our next visitor, but alas… we haven’t seen hide nor hair of him as yet.  Maybe he got side-tracked along the way?  Or heaven forbid — kidnapped!  Highjacked!  Oooooh. 

But we’re still keeping our eyes peeled for Mrs. Dransen… our mail lady.  She’s been looking for our visitors, too.  Isn’t that sweet of her?

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Yesterday was a really bad day for me.

First, I had trouble getting out of bed.













Then, I had a stiff neck.















I washed my hair and then couldn’t do a thing with it!














I felt hung over and I wasn’t even drinking last night, dammit!














My new diet doesn’t seem to be working out.
















Later, when I tried to exercise, I pulled a muscle.













Making matters worse, that new hat I bought — looked a whole lot better in the store.















I kept losing things.











The boss just had to chew on me at work.














Lunchtime came and I got caught in the rain.
















Then, the lunch I ate didn’t agree with me at all!















I felt really trapped, you know?














The last straw was having uninvited guests show up for dinner.















And…to top it all off, I think I’m coming down with the flu.














Finally alone at night, I hear a noise down in the basement!












Maybe tomorrow will be better….Sigh.



Thought for the day:












Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
If you can’t eat it or play with it,
just pee on it and walk away.

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So nothing much has been going on lately with me.  Seems like my life is back to ho hum normal.  How about you guys?

I do have a couple of things to tell you, though.

The Moron

That guy (yeah it was a guy) that wrote me the rude email.  I made the mistake (or not) to tell my oldest brother and the results were he actually visited the guy’s blog.  Then three of my other brothers did as well.  My nephew got involved, and then my sister-in-law, Jeannie.  My friend Becko couldn’t be left out; she too, had to have her say.  I think it must have been too much for the poor guy because he made his blog private.

The Point Is…

I usually go barefoot when I’m at home, and that’s what I was when I went to put some stuff out in the trash bin in the garage.  I stepped over some fertilizer sacks, some more junk, and then OUCH, I hit a 4 inch nail.


It actually penetrated the ball of my foot and then sort of went a bit sideways.  Needless to say, it was a BIG owie for me who am such a big baby when it comes to a little bit of pain.

The foot had to be cleaned (I did that all by myself), and then bandaged up (again, courtesy of yours truly).  I had a tetanus shot a couple of years ago, so I didn’t think it was important to go to the doctor or anything.  The husband took a look at it (he’s such the medical expert) when he got home, and he said I was damned lucky not to have caused damage when pulling the damned thing out of my foot.  I wouldn’t know.  All I know is that I couldn’t sit around with a 4 inch nail sticking out of my foot, let alone walk around with it.

I’m fine, just in pain and hobbling around like an idiot.

The Joke

Finally, the DQ sent this to me, and I thought it funny enough to share.  Hope you agree.

To Be 6 Again…

 A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror.  Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her Birthday. 

‘I’d like to be six again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

 On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!

 He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.  Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.  Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.  

He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

 Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s.  What a fabulous adventure! 

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.  He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being six again?’ 

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.  ‘I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!’

 The moral of the story:  Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.

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I don’t know why, but today everything seems funny.  Funny ha ha, not funny weird.

I think I may be bipolar.


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Today, I decided to be totally annoying.  You know, live up to my reputation and all?  So I did two things which normally would irk me…. but hey, it’s Saturday and a chick’s got to get her kicks somehow.

I decided to go to the bank on account cash is good.  So I got in my car and

  1. got into the fast lane, set my cruise control for 1 mile under the speed limit and stayed there.  It was so much fun!  I laughed all the way to the bank.

  3. got to the bank, (lunch time, right before closing) and waited in line.  When it came my turn, I stepped up to the teller, rummaged through my over-sized courier bag, gave up, dumped all the contents on the counter (the usual odds and ends makeup, receipts, books, pencils, pens, gum wrappers, loose change… you get the picture) and finally found my checkbook.  By this time people behind me were tapping toes and giving me mean looks which I returned with a sweet toothy smile.  I grabbed my checkbook, wrote out the check for the total sum of $1.50, and handed it over to the clerk.  She stared at me, stared at the check, stared at me, and with a lot of slamming of drawers and huffing, handed over my money.  I thanked her profusely, smiled at everyone on my way out, and laughed all the way home. 

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